Reality Check
by justkillingtime
Summary: This is a version of how things could but probably won't pan out in the season 5 Alex/Izzie/Denny saga.
1. Chapter 1

"Ah ah nnnn"

Alex reached up with his fist and banged on the wall between his room and Izzie's. She was going at it solo again; she'd been doing it all most every night this week and it was starting to bother him. If she was going to keep him up all night with her moaning the least she could do was let him help her.

"Aha"

Another loud moan, almost scream slipped from Izzie's mouth and vibrated through the wall.

"Izzie keep it down!" he yelled through the wall but when she let out another loud moan he couldn't keep ignoring it. He climbed out of his bed and walked out his room. He stood at the door to Izzie's room and banged on it.

"Izzie!" he called. "Do you want some help?" He listened, he heard another moan. "Izzie!" He banged on her door harder but she didn't call back to him. "Izzie!" His calling got louder, he was starting to get a little annoyed. She'd told him she was going to bed, that she didn't feel well but that wasn't what it sounded like she was doing .

"Alex, what are you doing?" He turned around to see Meredith standing in her doorway staring at him. "It's 3am, we're trying to sleep."

"I know, I'm trying to sleep too." Izzie let out another moan. "I was trying to get Izzie to be a little quieter."

"Oh," Another moan emitted through the door. "Why don't you just go in there?" He wanted to go in there and the suggestion from Meredith was the only push he needed.

"Izzie, I'm coming in." He gave her one last chance to say something, to make him stop but she didn't say anything. He pushed open the door and stepped inside.

The room was dark, it was hard to see anything, the only light was from the hallway but what he saw wasn't what he was expecting. She didn't yell at him, she didn't tell him to go away, she didn't ask what he was doing in there, she didn't say anything at all. Her body was laying flat on her bed, her legs were stretched out ridged in front of her, her arms out straight by her sides and slightly raised. She arched her body back and then relaxed and then arched it again.

"Izzie, Izzie," he walked right up to the side of her bed and lent over her, he grabbed her shoulder and shook her gently but she didn't seem to know he was there. "Izzie," He called out to her again but there was still nothing.

"Alex," The voice came from behind him, Meredith was now standing in the door way watching. She could see something was wrong, he turned to look at her just as she switched the light on. The sudden brightness made him blink and when he turned to look back at Izzie there was no doubt in his mind something was seriously wrong. Izzie seemed to arch her body back further, she let out a half moan, half scream and then her body went limp.

Behind him he could hear Meredith talking to someone on the phone. "I need an ambulance now." He heard her say before giving them the address, then he heard her call for help. "Derek!" she yelled.


	2. Chapter 2

Izzie lay in her bed, she blinked, it was bright, the light was on and another light was being shined in her face. She blinked again, trying to focus.

"Denny!" She called out his name, but he wasn't there, he was gone. "Denny." She tried to roll over in the bed but someone was holding her, they had their hand on her shoulder.

"Izzie." She blinked again and everything came into focus. Derek was leaning over her and shining a light in her face. Alex was sitting on the bed beside her, the color seemed to have drained from his face.

"What are you doing? What's going on?" She asked trying to sit up in the bed. She was confused and very disorientated, moments ago she had been with Denny and now, she started looking for him, he had to still be there, he couldn't just go, she turned her head and there he was, laying down on the end of the bed.

"You were having a seizure." The words came from Derek's mouth but she wasn't looking at him, she was gazing at Denny.

She watched him roll over and start laughing. "He thinks that was a seizure," he laughed and she couldn't help laughing too.

"I wasn't having a seizure." It couldn't be a seizure, what she was feeling experiencing, it couldn't possibly be a seizure, she'd seen people have seizures, they were violent and out of control, that wasn't what she'd been feeling, what she felt was amazing.

"Yes you were." Derek told her again. "We've phoned an ambulance, they're going to take you to the hospital."

"But," Derek moved away, allowing Alex to move closer.

"Iz," He clasped her hand in his. "You were having a seizure."

"No." She shook her head, she didn't want it to be a seizure. Behind Alex Denny was starting to pull faces, make signals like he was crazy. "No."

"Iz," Alex let go of her hand and pulled her entire body towards him, he held her up as he wrapped his arms around her. "It's going to be okay. We're going to go to the hospital and work out what's wrong, we're going to fix it."

"No," She buried her face into Alex's shoulder but from the corner of her eyes she could still see Denny and he did not look impressed.

-8-8-8-8-

Alex was still holding Izzie when the ambulance arrived. She didn't want to go to the hospital, she didn't think anything was wrong, she didn't want anything to be wrong.

"Iz, please," Alex was saying trying to coax her to go. "Hop on the gurney, let them take you to the hospital."

"I don't need to go to the hospital, I feel fine, there is nothing wrong with me." Even saying those words though, she could feel the doubt in her own voice.

"That's right girl you tell them, there is nothing wrong with you." Denny seemed to cheer from the end of the bed.

"Izzie, Izzie," Alex was trying to talk to her again. "I'll ride with you to the hospital, we'll go together."

She didn't want to go but she couldn't ignore the look Alex gave her, he looked really worried.

"Okay, but I want you to take me."

It was a compromise which could work, Alex thanked the paramedics for coming but told them they'd be alright, that he would take her to the hospital. Izzie smiled at him but he couldn't help noticing how she kept looking past him too, like she was looking at someone behind him but there was no one there.

"I'm going to get changed," he told her. "If you need to get anything get it now. We're leaving in a couple minutes."

Izzie watched Alex walk out her room, she listened to his footsteps move down the hallway and the sound of his door closing.

"He looked pretty worried there." The voice came from Denny who was still sitting on the end of the bed.

"Yeah," She didn't know what else to say, her head was starting to ache and she wasn't feeling too good. She didn't want to admit that to Alex though. She didn't want him to think there was something wrong with her, she didn't want to do that to him. She didn't want to be another crazy woman he'd have to look after.

"Are you ready?" Alex asked her, he was standing in her doorway. Over his shoulder he had the bag he always carried and he wore the same clothes he'd had on the day before.

"Yeah I guess." She swung her legs around and sat on the edge of her bed. She was feeling dizzy but she didn't want Alex to know. He seemed to notice anyway because he walked all the way into her room and picked up her jeans. He helped her stand and put them on, and as they walked out the house he held her as tight to his side as possible.

-8-8-8-8-

Alex held Izzie tight to his side, so tight he could feel her heart beating in her chest. She said she was okay, that nothing was wrong with her but he didn't believe her. Just looking at her he could tell something wasn't right, when she talked to him she wouldn't look at him, she wouldn't give him eye contact, she seemed to look past him and the more he thought about it the more he realized she'd been doing it for a while.

She'd been distant with him for weeks, he'd noticed that but he thought it was because she was scared, they were getting serious and last time that happened it was horrible. Denny had died and it was horrible, she had felt horrible and he thought she was scared because of that, he thought she was scared because she didn't want to feel that again. It wasn't that though, he could feel now there was something else, something physical.

"Iz," He said reaching for her hand. "How you doing?" He squeezed it and she turned to look at him.

"I'm fine." She smiled at him. "There is nothing wrong with me."

"Iz –" He went to argue with her but she cut him off.

"I'm fine, there is nothing wrong. What you saw, it's not what you think."

The words came from her mouth with such confidence, and honesty, she believed what she was saying. She didn't think there was anything wrong, he could hear it in her voice but he didn't believe it.

"What was it then?" He had to ask.

She looked away from him, and let go of his hand. She rested her fingers against her temple as if she was thinking.

-8-8-8-8-

"Iz," Alex said her name again and she closed her eyes. He wanted to know what it was and she didn't know how to tell him. "What was it?"

She kept her eyes closed and tried to think. Behind her she could hear someone moving and then Denny's familiar voice echoed.

"Tell him what it was Iz. Tell him what we've been doing. I bet he's going to like that."

-8-8-8-8-

"Shut up!" The words came unexpectedly from Izzie's mouth. Alex turned to look at her, she still had her eyes closed and was resting her head against the window.

"I'm sorry I just wanted to know."

"Know what?" She seemed to be confused, like she didn't remember the question he'd just asked.

"What was it I saw?"

"Oh." She closed her eyes again and seemed to drift off into deep thought.

"Izzie."

It took a moment for her to respond, for her to open her eyes again. "I'm sorry, I'm just really tired. It was just a dream, I was just dreaming."

"Okay." He pattered her leg and pulled the car into the hospital car park. "We're here. You can lay down inside."

-8-8-8-8-

Walking into the hospital Alex held Izzie's hand. She told him she didn't need him to do that but he said he wanted to, that he wanted to hold her. She'd given him a strange look when he'd said that but he tried to ignore it. She wasn't used to him talking to her like that but there was a fear starting to eat away at his insides which made him just want to hold her.

Inside the hospital things moved very quickly and then very slowly. Meredith and Derek had both arrived several minutes before them and got in motion everything that needed to be done. They had a room for her, and a bed, a place for them to run all their preliminary tests, but what she really needed was a CT and the machine was booked for at least the next two hours. While they waited Derek attached her to an EEG machine and told her she should try and get some rest. She liked that idea, she was so tired, and the prodding and poking she'd just been subjected to only made it worse.


	3. Chapter 3

George heard the news from Meredith, that Izzie was sick, that she'd been having seizures, probably for weeks and no one had noticed. He felt like yelling at her that he'd noticed, he'd told her a week ago that he thought there was something wrong with Izzie and she'd just brushed him off, told him there was something wrong with all of them. That wasn't what he meant though and she'd never given him the opportunity to explain.

Izzie was sick though; there was no doubt in anyone's mind but her own about that now. Without asking if he could George let himself into her room. She was laying on the bed clutching a pillow to her chest and Alex sat in the corner reading a medical journal. The sound of the door closing woke her up, she opened her eyes and smiled at him, while Alex put down his magazine and walked over.

"How you doing?" He asked the question to Izzie, who kind of smiled back at him.

"I'm okay." She told him. "Just tired." She pushed herself up in the bed and pointed to the EEG attached to her head. "Have you ever tried sleeping with one of these on?"

"No," George bit back a laugh at the look Izzie gave him; he could imagine the machines being hard to sleep with. Izzie gave him another smile and he could see something in her eyes, an emotion he couldn't quite place.

-8-8-8-8-

Alex walked to Izzie's bedside and rested his hand on hers. George had entered their quiet little world and he couldn't help feeling a little protective, possessive maybe even. He wanted George to know Izzie was his that he was going to take care of her. Even as he was doing it he knew his actions were a little silly, George and Izzie had been there and done that and it had been terrible, they would never go there again but still. There was a guilt eating inside of him. George had noticed there was something wrong; weeks ago he had told him there was something wrong and he'd yelled at the guy. He'd yelled at George because he didn't want to see it and he felt threatened that someone else had.

"Alex," George was talking to him, invading his thoughts. "Can I talk to Izzie alone for a bit?"

"Umm," He wasn't sure what to say, the truth was he didn't want to let her out of his sights he didn't want to leave but he couldn't exactly say no, he didn't have that right.

"I'll be okay," Izzie was talking to him now. "Why don't you go get some coffee or something. You're going to need something if you're going to insist on staying up all night."

She gave him a smile, they'd had this conversation earlier, right after Derek had told her to get some rest, he'd offered to find Alex a cot but he'd turned down the offer. He'd said he didn't plan on sleeping until he knew what was going on. Derek had tried to talk him out of that idea but he'd been stubborn.

"Okay, I'll be back in a bit."

Before he left the room he gave Izzie a kiss and tried to give George a threatening look. It didn't come off too well though, it made Izzie laugh. Her laugher made him smile though and he left the room feeling alright.

-8-8-8-8-

George watched Alex leave the room, he waited for the door to shut and waited another moment for him to walk away. He wanted to make sure Alex was gone, he didn't want him hearing their conversation, not yet, he wasn't sure what Izzie would say but he knew she wouldn't say it in front of Alex.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her trying to get the conversation going.

"I'm fine." She replied adjusting her position on the bed. "Everyone is getting worried about nothing. I'm fine, just a little tired."

He was expecting a response like that, he didn't think Izzie would flat out tell him but he was prepared for that.

"Iz," he climbed up on the edge of her bed and sat down. "I don't think you are fine."

"I – " She went to argue with him but he cut her off.

"I've seen you talking to someone. All the time I've seen you talk to someone and there is no one there."

-8-8-8-8-

George's statement took her by surprise, she didn't think anyone had seen her with Denny, she didn't think anyone knew. "I was talking to myself." It seemed like a good explanation, the only one that might make sense.

"No you weren't." George's flat out rejection of her answer confused she didn't know what else to say. "I've seen you talk to yourself before. You weren't talking to yourself, you were having a conversation."

"I…" She wanted to argue, she wanted to deny it all but she didn't know what to say. Instinctively her eyes began darting around the room, she was looking for Denny, he would know what to do, this was all his fault he would know what to say so her friends didn't think she was crazy.

-8-8-8-8-

George listened as Izzie's words seemed to get stuck in her mouth. He watched her eyes begin darting around the room, searching. "Who were you talking to?"

She didn't answer him, her eyes had stopped searching and she seemed to be looking past him. He found himself looking over his shoulder but there was no one there. "Iz, are they here now?"

-8-8-8-8-

Her eyes fixed on Denny; he was sitting on the end of her bed just behind George. She wasn't sure how he got there; he wasn't there a minute ago. That didn't matter though; he smiled at her and pulled a face at George.

"Izzie, are they here now?" George asked her again. She still didn't know what to say, she looked back at him, she wanted to say no but she couldn't, there was concern written all over his face, she didn't want to lie to him now. She looked back at Denny, he was still there, she wanted to ask him for help, she wanted him to tell her what to say but he wasn't paying attention, he was being silly.

"Izzie," George's voice broke into her thoughts again. She felt him reach for her hand and squeeze it. "Look at me."

She turned her head slowly toward him, she looked him in the eyes and tried to smile.

-8-8-8-8-

He waited for Izzie to look him, she didn't want to, he could see the reluctance in her eyes. With his hand he reached out and rested it against her cheek, she couldn't turn away now, she had to look at him but he could still see the pull in her eyes.

"Iz, who's there?"

He had no doubt in his mind now that who ever she talked to was there, was there in the room with them, he could see her looking at them, he could see the plead in her eyes as she looked to this person for answers.

"It's okay, you can tell me."

-8-8-8-8-

She tried to look away, she needed Denny to tell her what to say but he still wasn't listening, she couldn't see him but she could hear him moving around behind her. She didn't want to tell George but he wouldn't let her look away, he wouldn't let her lose his eye and he looked like he cared.

"It's okay Iz, you can tell me." He told her again. She closed her eyes and bit back some tears. She wasn't going to tell anyone, it was meant to be her secret but she couldn't keep it anymore.

"Denny."

-8-8-8-8-

The one word slipped from Izzie's mouth but it was all George needed to hear. That one word, that one mans presence explained a lot.

"You've been talking to Denny?" He asked the question, testing the boundaries of what she would tell him.

"Yes."

-8-8-8-8-

Behind her Izzie heard Denny gasped and the sound of him running around her. "You told him. You weren't supposed to tell him." She heard him say and then he was standing directly behind George, she could see him now and he didn't look happy. "We were supposed to be a secret, no one was supposed to know."

She wanted to yell at Denny, tell him to shut up but she didn't get the chance to. George was talking to her again. "Shepard needs to know," he was saying, "and you need to tell Alex."

She nodded, she knew George was right but she didn't want to do it. She wanted to talk to him about it more but she didn't get a chance to. The door opened on the other side of the room and Alex stepped back in.

"Tell me what." He asked walking over to the bed. He kissed her gently on the cheek and she smiled at him.

"Nothing," she wasn't ready to tell Alex, she needed to work out how she would tell him.

"Are you sure?" She watched Alex glance over at George, but George didn't say anything, he wouldn't give her secret away just yet.

Alex shrugged at her, he knew better than to try and push things with her just yet. He just sat down on the other side of her bed and wrapped an arm around her.

"Tell me when you're ready." He told her, giving her another small kiss. For another minute they stayed there and then the door to the room opened again. Meredith stepped in and told them the CT was finally ready, it was time to get her head looked at.


	4. Chapter 4

Anxiously Alex, George, Meredith and Derek stared at the monitor screens of the CT. Cristina wasn't there, she'd scored herself a massive surgery and told them to tell her what was going later. Slowly the images started to appear, at first everything looked normal, but then they saw it. Inside Izzie's brain was a very large aneurysm.

"Oh my god." The words came slowly from George's mouth, he was the first to say something.

Alex didn't say anything, he just stared at the images, began trying to get his head around what he was looking at. On any other person it would have been exciting but to know that was in Izzie's head just made him feel sick.

"She has an aneurysm." Derek said stating the obvious, he pointed to it on the screen just in case they hadn't seen it but they'd all seen it. "It hasn't ruptured yet but it looks like it could." He pressed the buttons on the computer to print the images. "Get her out of there and back to her room." He instructed. He picked up the images and stood up. "Meredith come with me." And they both walked out the room leaving Alex and George alone to take care of Izzie.

"Guys what's going on?" Izzie's voice echoed from the next room.

Alex and George both turned to each other, they both knew Izzie needed to be told but neither one of them wanted to do it.

"We're coming in to get you." Alex said through the microphone and he walked out the viewing room.

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

In the CT room Izzie lay on the table waiting for someone to get her out. They'd taken the images, she knew that but they seemed to be taking a long time to get her out, it made her nervous, anxiety began to creep in. When she finally heard the foot steps enter the room and felt the table begin to move she was on the verge of freaking out. Alex was there though, his presence seemed to calm her, he made her smile.

"Did you find anything?" She asked him as he helped her sit up. As soon as she asked the question though she knew the answer, there was an ashen look to his face and he looked away from her for just a moment. She knew the word was coming before he said it.

"Yes."

"What?" It was the logical next question but as soon as she asked it she wished she hadn't. Alex didn't want to tell her, she could tell by the look he gave her, he didn't want to say it.

"You have an aneurysm." He finally told her. "Meredith and Shepard are looking at the images now; they're trying to work out what to do."

"Oh." The one word associated with her name made her feel ill, she seemed to feel a headache come on instantly, but it wasn't real, the pain was all in her head, her body making itself hurt because it thought that's what it was supposed to do.

"You should wait for Shepard to explain it to you, he knows this stuff better." She heard Alex tell her but; she wasn't really listening to him anymore. Instead she was trying to turn everything over in her head, get her head around the idea that there was really something wrong with her, that everything she'd been feeling these last few weeks wasn't real.

"There is nothing wrong with you. I'm just a dead guy who loves you." The sound of Denny's voice made her jump. Alex noticed.

"Iz, are you alright."

"Yeah," The word came from her mouth in a distant tone as she turned her head, she saw Denny standing there beside her smiling. "Can we go back to the room now?"

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

Back in the room Alex paced around in circles, he didn't have anything to do which allowed his mind to wonder, allowed him to start freaking out. He was scared, more scared than it would seem Izzie was, she'd showed little reaction to the news, it was hard to read her, she hadn't said much or done much, she was distant and now she seemed to be sleeping. She was laying down on the bed with her eyes closed, her breathing was slow and steady and she was clutching a pillow to her chest. She looked peaceful, there was a smile on her face, it confused him a little he didn't quite understand how she could be so calm.

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

Somewhere behind her Izzie could hear the sound of Alex's feet pacing around, he hadn't stopped moving since they'd arrived back at the room. He was freaking out, she could tell he was freaking out, he was scared and worried about her, she knew this but she'd done nothing to try and ease these fears. She didn't know what to do about him so she was doing the only thing she could do, she was ignoring it. She'd told him she was tired, that she wanted to try and get some sleep. He didn't argue with her, he could tell she was tired, it was the early hours of the morning and she'd hardly slept, he'd hardly slept either but he said he couldn't sleep, that he didn't want to sleep.

He let her sleep but what he didn't know was she wasn't sleeping alone. Denny was with her, he was laying on the bed beside her, she had her head resting against his chest, and his arm wrapped around her. Deep down she knew it wasn't real, she knew he wasn't real but she didn't care, she wanted him to hold her, she wanted to keep pretending he was real because she liked the way he made her feel.

From the side of the room she heard the door open, she opened her eyes a little to see who was there. It was only George though, he'd left a while a go to get coffee and now he was carrying in two cups of it. He handed one to Alex and the pacing footsteps finally stopped. She heard them both sit down in some chairs in the corner and start talking.

"How long has she been like that?" she heard George ask.

"About an hour." She heard Alex reply. "She fell asleep pretty quickly. I don't know how, I can't seem to stop moving."

"I know." There was a pause in George's voice before be kept talking. "She's going to be alright. Shepard's going to fix it and she'll be alright."

"Yeah," She heard Alex let out a sigh. They both sipped their coffee and the room was quiet for a while. "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you before when you said there was something wrong." Alex started saying.

"It's alright," George cut him off before he could say anymore. "You didn't want to see it."

The men kept talking as she continued to 'sleep'. She listened to what they were saying, they really did care about her and they really were worried. Hearing their concerns made her feel awful, she'd known there was something wrong with her, and she'd chosen to ignore it, convinced herself she was fine, because she liked the way it made her feel. She liked Denny being with her, she liked the things he did to her, the way he made her feel. Even now as they talked, as the two men in her life who cared about her talked about her, worried about her, she didn't say anything, she didn't open her eyes and tell them she was awake because she didn't want to be awake. With her eyes closed, she was with Denny and she wasn't ready to give that up.

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

Alex glanced down at his watch, it was very late, or very early depending on how you wanted to look at it. He'd finished off his coffee and he was starting to feel the caffeine hit, he was getting restless. It had been well over an hour since he'd last seen Meredith and Derek, he wanted to know where they were, he wanted them to come back. They were meant to be working out a treatment plan, they were meant to be working out how to fix Izzie, make her well, and he needed to know how, he needed them to fix her so he could stop worrying. It seemed to take forever but finally Meredith and Derek came into the room and he stood up and walked over to the bed.

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

"Iz," Izzie felt Alex's hand touch her shoulder and she rolled over in the bed. She smiled at him, and he smiled back her. "You need to wake up for a bit, Meredith and Derek are here."

"Okay," She pushed herself up in the bed and turned to them.

They stuck her scans in a light box and began explaining everything to her. The aneurysm was large, it hadn't completely ruptured but there was evidence it had been leaking. They said they couldn't tell her it would defiantly rupture but it was their medical opinion it was likely to, that the leakages were warning signs. They explained the options to her, she could wait and see, she could go on medication to prevent another seizure and they could wait. Waiting was a good option, as far as they knew the seizure was her only symptom and they could stop that. It was possible the aneurysm would never rupture. Or she could have surgery, they could clip the aneurysm or fill it with titanium coils, to prevent it from bleeding again. Surgery was her best option, if it went to plan she stood to make a full recovery, she wouldn't have to worry about it rupturing one day, things could go back to the way they were. It should have been a simple decision but the information overwhelmed her, she knew most of it already but it was never in the context of herself, it was always some stranger. When it was happening to her it made everything different.

"Take me home."

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

Alex was not expecting those words to come from Izzie's mouth. They'd just been listening to Derek explain everything to them and going home was not the next thing to do in his opinion. He thought it was obvious what needed to happen, she needed to have surgery she needed to have the aneurysm blocked off before it ruptured.

"I need time to think. Please take me home." She asked again. "I need to go home."


	5. Chapter 5

Izzie wanted to go home, more than anything she wanted to go home.

"Iz, I don't think that's a good idea." Alex told her. "If you need time to think that's okay, we don't need to do anything just yet but I think you should stay at the hospital."

"No." She desperately wanted to be home, she wanted be alone. She needed to come to terms with what was happening, what was going to happen. She'd been living in two worlds and one of those worlds had to go. Denny had to go, she was going to have to say goodbye to him again. Saying goodbye scared her, terrified her, she didn't want to say goodbye but she knew she had to. She had to say goodbye but she needed time, she needed space.

Alex tried to console her, comfort her, make her change her mind. He tied to talk her into the surgery, as her boyfriend he was allowed to do that but her mind was made up, she wasn't ready for surgery, right now she wanted to go home.

Reluctantly Meredith handed her an AMA form. She explained to her very clearly what it meant, what it was she was signing, and again tried to suggest she think things through at the hospital.

It was a pointless though; she wasn't going to change her mind. As soon as the forms were signed she was climbing out of bed and Alex was at her side immediately trying to help her.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked her again. "It's okay to change your mind."

"I want to go home." She was sure.

-8-8-8-8-8-

At home, Izzie and Alex had a fight. He was scared and worried, all he wanted to do was keep an eye on her, be with her and make sure she was okay. He'd seen first hand what could happen in a moment when you left someone alone, it only took a moment for Rebecca to slit her wrists, it only took a moment for his mom to swallow half a bottle of pills. He didn't want to give Izzie that moment but all she wanted was space.

She wanted to be left alone. She wanted to be by herself so she could think, work out what she wanted to do. Alex didn't understand that, from his perspective everything seemed simpler than it was. She needed the surgery, but she wasn't ready for it. The idea of someone operating on her brain scared her, she couldn't just say 'yes lets do it', but there was another reason why she paused, after the surgery Denny would be gone. Alex didn't know about Denny, she hadn't told him and now she didn't think she could. So instead they had a fight, they yelled at each other and in the end she went outside and he went upstairs.

-8-8-8-8-8-

Alex stood staring out the window of his room. He was watching Izzie, she was outside pacing around in circles, she wanted her space, and he'd reluctantly given it to her. He wouldn't stop watching her though, keeping an eye on her. He was worried something was going to happen, that he would miss it, he was worried he might lose her but there was nothing he could do. He couldn't make her see things his way, see things the way they needed to be seen. She needed to see things for herself, that's why he was allowing her space, allowing her to be alone.

She didn't look like she was alone though, she looked like she was having a conversation with someone, she was behaving like there was someone with her. Sometimes she would sit down on the wall, hold her head in her hands, other times she would pace around in circles. She would yell things out, he couldn't hear what she was saying but the sound traveled up to him.

-8-8-8-8-8-

"Go away." Izzie said sitting down on the wall behind the house; she rested her head in her hands and closed her eyes. Her head was starting to spin and it hurt more than she wanted to admit.

"Please go away." All she wanted was to be alone. She'd yelled at Alex until he let her be but she still wasn't alone.

"Go away." The words came out of her mouth in a desperate whisper. "You need to go. You need to go so I can work this out." She said the words to herself, quietly she tried to will Denny to disappear but he wouldn't go. She heard him sit down on the wall a few feet from her.

"I'm not going anywhere." He said to her. "I'm here to stay, you're stuck with me."

"No, please." She needed him to go, she needed him to go because he wasn't real. He was only in her head and she was sick.

"If you want me to go make me, make me go like you did that Karev dude."

She turned to look at him, and stood up. "Leave me alone!" she screamed at him, but he didn't leave, he didn't walk away, he just started laughing.

"That won't work on me." He smiled at her. "Nope, not going to work on me."

"Denny," She walked towards him and stopped a foot away. "You have to go. You have to leave because you're not real, you're only in my head. I have to say goodbye to you and you have to go."

"What if I don't want to go." He smiled at her, he was trying to be all cute and coy, but she wasn't in the mood for it.

"You have to go." She walked away from him and started pacing around in circles. "I am sick." She started saying to herself. "I am sick and you are not real, you are not really there. I have to say goodbye to you and you have to leave, I can make you leave, you are not real."

She heard him walk towards her, begin pacing with her. "I thought we'd been through this already." He started telling her. "I am real, you've touched me, you've felt me."

She stopped pacing and looked right at him. "What I felt wasn't real."

"Really?" He smiled at her. "That's not what you've been saying." He held out his hand, a crocked smile still across his face. "Touch me again."

She stood there looking at his outstretched hand. She wanted to take it, she wanted to feel him again but she was scared to, she was scared it wouldn't feel the same, that it wouldn't feel real.

-8-8-8-8-8-

Alex watched as Izzie screamed at no one and then start pacing around in circles. He watched as she stopped pacing and just stood there. He watched her lift her hand as if to touch someone. He watched her hold it there for a moment, and he watched as she began to fall.

He froze for a whole second as his mind tried to connect with his body, he couldn't move and then he was running. He was running out his room and down the stairs, he picked his jacket up from the front door and ran to the back. By the time he was at Izzie's side, she was in the throws of a seizure.

He swore loudly to himself and shoved his jacket under her head, it wasn't very thick, it wasn't too soft but it was the only thing he had to protect her head from slamming against the ground. He phoned an ambulance and then all he could do was sit there and wait.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has been leaving the reviews. They do mean a lot and keep an eye out for updates, this whole story will be posted before Thursdays episode. **

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Alex watched as Izzie's body continued to seize, she let out moans and arched her body back and forth. When the ambulance arrived she still hadn't stopped, the seizure continued for the entire ride to the hospital and it was only once she was there they could make it stop. They loaded her body up with diazepam and she quickly went limp. She lay motionless on the bed for a few seconds and then she gasped for air, her breathing began to return to normal and Alex allowed himself to relax a little.

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

For the second time that day, Izzie awoke to surroundings she wasn't expecting. The room she lay in was bright and unfamiliar, it hurt her eyes and scared her.

"Denny." She called out his name because he was supposed to be there, only a moment ago he was with her. "Denny."

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

"Denny."

Alex heard the name, he heard Izzie call for Denny and not him. It surprised him, confused him, made him want to step back but he didn't. Instead he stood up, lent over her and ran his fingers down the side of her face.

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

The bright light seemed to be blocked by someone, Izzie blinked, trying to get everything to focus. Her head felt full, and she felt more tired than she'd ever been. "Denny." She felt a hand reach out and touch her, but it wasn't Denny, it was Alex.

"It's okay Iz," he started telling her. "You're at the hospital. You had another seizure."

"Oh."

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A look of disappointment spread across Izzie's face. It took him a moment to realize what was happening and then everything started making sense.

"Where's Denny?" Izzie's asked him, she looked up at him with her big brown eyes pleading him for an answer.

"Denny's not here. Denny's dead." He told her the truth and watched her face for a reaction. She closed her eyes for a second and when she opened them again, there were tears starting to form. "Have you been talking to Denny?"

He asked her the question though he already knew the answer. At home she'd looked like she was talking to someone and in her mind maybe she was.

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

His question surprised her, she closed her eyes again and tried to think what to say. Her head was finally starting to clear enough for her to work out what was happening.

"I saw you outside, you looked like you were talking to someone."

"Oh." She hadn't realized Alex was watching her, if she'd known she might have…she didn't know but, he wasn't supposed to find out.

"You can tell me Iz, it's okay." He moved closer to her and continued to gently touch her cheek.

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

He kept watching her as he moved closer. He could see in her eyes, she was turning things over in her head, she was trying to work things out. He could see the doubt and confusion in her, she was scared.

"It's okay," He tried to coax the answer from her, he was certain he knew what it was but he wanted her to say it. She needed to say it, for both of them.

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"Yes."

Forming that one word was harder than anything else she had done. In that instant admitting that to Alex was difficult. She was finally putting everything together, realizing what exactly was happening to her, why it was happening, and more that anything she needed Alex to be with her.

He didn't pull away from her though, he smiled at her and told her it was okay.

"Is he here now?"

He asked another question she wasn't expecting to answer. "You can tell me. It's okay."

She pushed herself up a little in the bed and looked around. Denny was always there and it didn't take long for her to find him. He was sitting down in a chair in the corner.

"Yes."

Alex nodded at her. She was almost expecting him to ask her where he was but he didn't, instead he kissed her cheek and stood up.

"I'm going to go see how long it'll be till they can take you up for x-ray. I'll be back in a minute."

She watched him walk out the room. He'd said he was going to check up on the x-ray but she could tell that wasn't why he was leaving. There was a look in his eyes that said why he was leaving, he was hurt, despite what he'd said it wasn't okay that she'd been talking to Denny. She closed her eyes and let tears trickle out, she needed him, she wanted him.

With her eyes still closed she heard movement in the room. She heard someone walk towards her and settle by her bed. "Alex," she whispered opening her eyes but it wasn't Alex there it was Denny.

"You don't look happy to see me." He said leaning over her, he smiled at her, but he didn't touch her.

"You're not real." She said pushing herself up in the bed. "I'm sick, you're not real."

"Iz I thought we'd been through this already." He reached out with his hand and tried to touch her. She pulled away.

"Please don't touch me." She said to him. "I don't want you to touch me."

"Why?" He looked a little annoyed at her. "If I'm not real, it won't matter." He started reaching out for her again. "If I'm not real you can't touch me." He moved closer to her, so close she could almost feel the heat radiating from his body.

"Please don't," She closed her eyes and tried to will Denny away, make him go, but he wouldn't leave, she could feel him moving closer and closer to her. Then she felt his hand touch her face, she felt his lips brush against hers and he whispered.

"See, I told you I was real."

He pulled her closer to him and she began to feel the electricity run through her. It was the same feeling she always felt when they got close and she couldn't pull away from it, she liked it too much and she finally let her body relax, she let him touch her, be with her.

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

Alex walked out Izzie room and down the corridor. In front of her he'd been calm, he'd been compassionate and caring because that's what she needed but inside he was fuming. He was mad but he didn't know who he was supposed to be mad at. Mad at himself for not noticing, mad at Izzie for not telling him, mad at Denny for being there. He couldn't be mad at Denny, he wasn't real anymore, he was just a figment of Izzie's illness, and he couldn't be mad at Izzie because he cared too much, he didn't want to be mad at her, she was sick. That only left himself to be mad at.

He walked into the stair well and close the door, he checked quickly to make sure there was no one else there and then he screamed. He let out a loud deep painful scream. He was trying to release some of his pent up feeling, release some of the anxiety inside of him. It made him feel better but only briefly. He was still mad, mad at the whole situation, things were finally starting to go well for him, he thought his luck had changed and he was happy. But things were never going well, not as well as he thought, he loved Izzie, and he thought she loved him, he'd thought she hadn't said it yet because she was scared but now he wasn't so sure. For weeks, as he'd been falling for her, she'd been with Denny, she'd been distant with him because she had been with Denny. He didn't know how to take that, what to make of it. He wanted to be angry at her but she was sick, it wasn't her fault, he wanted to be angry at her because she didn't tell him. But he didn't want to be angry at her because she was sick, he could lose her, and if that happened he didn't want to be angry at her when it did.

He sat down on the stairs and tried to calm himself. He needed to get back to Izzie but he needed to be in control first, when he went back he couldn't be angry, not at her, not at himself, not at the situation, anger wouldn't help. He rested his head in his hands and started talking to himself, he was trying to talk himself into the right state of mind.

He was still sitting there minutes later when he heard footsteps coming up behind him. He turned around and saw Meredith walking down the stairs.

"Alex what are you doing here?" She asked, stopping beside him. "I was just coming down to get Izzie, the CT is ready."

He stood up and exhaled slowly, he ran his hand over his head and tried to find the right words. "I had to get out of there for a bit." He finally said, and when Meredith looked back at him like she was waiting for more explanation he continued. "She's been having hallucination. She's been talking to Denny."

"Oh," That one sound was all Meredith seemed to be able to form, she adjusted the folders she was holding and took a step towards him. She looked like she was going to comfort him, or at least try but she didn't get a chance to, her pager started beeping. She looked down at it and then back to him. "It's Izzie." She said, and they were the only words needed for them both to take off at a run.

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	7. Chapter 7

**AN: I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has been leaving the reviews. They do mean a lot and keep an eye out for updates, this whole story will be posted before Thursdays episode. **

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Meredith and Alex arrived at Izzie's room together, the door was open and there were several people in there, nurses getting medications ready for a doctor to administer. She was having another seizure, her third in less than twelve hours, her second in thirty minutes. Meredith gave the order, they shot her up with Phenobarbital and she quickly stopped seizing. She lay very still on the bed and Alex moved towards her. He knelt down beside her so their faces were level and began running his fingers through her hair, stroking the side of her face.

"Come on Iz, wake up." He started whispering to her. "It's okay, you're okay."

The words were as much for his benefit as hers, he needed her to be okay.

"Alex," Meredith was talking to him from behind. "She's going to be really groggy from the drugs. Don't try to push her too much."

"I know. I just need her to say something." He turned away from Meredith and back to Izzie. "Come on Iz, you're okay, its okay."

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

Meredith watched Alex, run his hands though Izzie's hair, over her face. She could tell he was worried and she wasn't quite sure how to take it, she hadn't seen this side of him before.

"Alex just give her a minute." She told him, "She'll come to in a little bit."

It was hard watching him, watching them, Alex was hurting and he was scared. He seemed to have forgotten everything he'd been taught, all his medical training. He was trying to get Izzie to wake up, to talk to him, but she wasn't going to, not yet. The medication they'd just given her wouldn't allow it, they her made her as well as anyone else very groggy and drowsy.

"Alex, the drugs we just gave her are strong, you're not going to get much out of her for a while." She tried the tell him. "She needs another CT. Lets take her up for that now."

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It stopped as quickly as it started, the electricity that ran though her as Denny touched her, was with her and then ended, she lay very still in the bed. The good feelings were gone and now she just felt terrible. She felt more tired than she had ever felt and her head was pounding. Denny was gone and in his place she could hear Alex. She could hear him soothing her and trying to get her to wake up. She wanted to wake up but she couldn't open her eyes, they felt so heavy. Instead she let out a moan and whispered.

"Alex."

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He heard her whisper his name, she didn't open her eyes but she said his name, and not the other mans. He lent forward and kissed her gently. She was still there, she was still his.

"We're going to take you up for another CT." He told her. She seemed to let out another moan but she didn't open her eyes.

~*~

Izzie lay very still on the bed as they wheeled her up to the CT. She still couldn't get her eyes to open but she could hear everything. Meredith was talking to Alex , she was trying to console him, assure him that everything would work out fine. Alex kept telling her she wasn't supposed to say that, that as a doctor she could never promise that everything would be fine.

She said he was right but right then she wasn't a doctor she was his friend and friends were allowed to say that, that as his friend that was all she could say. The way she said it made him laugh a little, it was a hollow laugh though, he was worried.

In the CT room, he lifted her from the bed and lay her down on the table. She moaned as he moved her, every movement hurt. "You're having a CT." He whispered to her. "If you need anything just call out."

He bent down to kiss her and she grabbed his hand. "Stay with me." She whispered, and finally she managed to get her eyes open.

The light was so bright; it made her pounding head hurt even more. She blinked a few times and then decided to keep her eyes closed.

"It hurts," she whispered to Alex. "The light hurts."

"It's okay, just keep your eyes closed." He bent down and kissed her again. "I'll just be in the next room, this wont take long."

He pushed the button to move her inside the machine and he walked out the room.

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He walked into the viewing room and waited anxiously with Meredith and Derek for the images to appear on the monitors. They knew what they were looking for this time, they wanted to get another look at the aneurysm and see if it had changed at all. They didn't think it had ruptured but they suspected it may have become enlarged or started bleeding again.

They waited quietly for the images and when they finally appeared everyone gulped. The aneurysm had indeed bled again, not a lot but enough to cause problems.

"We need to get that out." Derek said pointing to the monitor. "She's going to keep having small bleeds until it finally ruptures." He pressed print to make copies of the images and stood up. "Book an OR and get her back to her room. I'll be down there in a little bit to explain the procedure." He walked out the room and towards one of the offices; he was going to need a few minutes to work out how he was going to remove the aneurysm, which procedure he was going to use.

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Alex watched Derek walk out the room, Meredith turned to give him a sad smile and walked out too, she went after Derek, she wanted to be part of the decision making process. That left Alex alone, he stared at the images of Izzie's head, he still couldn't believe they were hers, that it was inside her head.

He stood up slowly and walked back into the CT room. He pushed the button to get her out the machine, and gently lifted her back onto the bed. She moaned a little as he lifted her.

"Alex what's happening?" she asked him.

"We're going back to the room." He didn't tell her anymore than that.

"Okay," She didn't ask him anymore questions, she let out another moan and seemed to drift back to sleep.

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Izzie kept her eyes closed as they went back to the room, once she tried to open them but the light was too painful. She was sick, she knew she was sick, she couldn't deny it or pretend it wasn't happening anymore. When the bed finally stopped moving she tired to talk again.

"Alex, what's happening to me?" She asked him.

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	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Thanks for all the reviews. I really appreciate them. This story is in its home straight, keep an eye out for updates. The last parts will be up before the show airs tomorrow.**

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_Izzie kept her eyes closed as they went back to the room, once she tried to open them but the light was too painful. She was sick, she knew she was sick, she couldn't deny it or pretend it wasn't happening anymore. When the bed finally stopped moving she tired to talk again. _

_"Alex, what's happening to me?" She asked him._

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"You have an aneurysm." He told her. He was getting used to the word; he was beginning to accept the situation. "It's been bleeding. You need to have surgery to stop it bleeding again."

"Oh," He watched her roll over onto her side and try to open her eyes again; they were open for only a moment before she closed them again. "Can you turn off the lights? The lights hurt." She asked him.

He stood up and walked over to the switch, he flicked it off and the room went dark, the only lights in the room now came from the glow of the monitors and from under the door.

"Thank you." Izzie looked up at him and smiled, her eyes were open now.

-8-8-8-8-8-

Izzie opened her eyes and looked at Alex, she could see him clearly now, the worry and the fear, and compassion were written all over his face.

"Is that better?" he asked her and she smiled back at him.

"Yes." She held out her arms and beckoned him towards her. He sat down in a chair beside her bed and began running his hand down her cheek,

"I'm sorry I left," He started telling her. She didn't want to hear his apology though, he didn't need to apologize.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just…" She didn't know how to explain why she didn't tell him, she didn't want to tell him she liked Denny being with her.

"It's okay Iz," He broke the silence which had formed. "You don't need to explain, it's already happened. What we need to worry about is now; what's going to happen next."

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Putting aside everything that had happened wasn't easy but it was the only way to move forward. Alex didn't want to hear Izzie try to explain why she didn't tell him about Denny, it wouldn't change anything and it wouldn't help. It would probably make things worse, it would make him mad, and he was certain whatever she said would hurt in some way or form. It was better to not talk about it and worry about the future.

"Shepard will be back in a little bit, he'll explain the surgery to you and you'll sign the consent form."

He'd chosen his words carefully, he didn't want there to be any question in what was going to happen, she needed the surgery and he wasn't going to let her say otherwise. This time he wasn't going to let her go home, he wouldn't give her time to think it over.

"Alex, I'm sorry," Izzie was talking to him again; her big brown eyes were staring up at him. "I'm sorry you have to go through this, that I wasn't better."

"It's okay." He moved closer to her bed and kissed her gently on the temple. "It's not your fault, you didn't ask for this to happen."

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She closed her eyes and tears began to trickle out. She didn't ask for it to happen but in a way she had. In the weeks, months even right after Denny died she would have given anything to see him again; she wanted to see him so bad. When she finally did see him, she didn't fight it, at first it scared her but she didn't get help, she went with it and then kept going. She didn't ask for it to happen but she'd made it a lot worse by not getting help.

"I'm sorry," She whispered again, and she let the tears start falling. Alex moved closer to her, he stood up and motioned for her to move over.

"Come here." He said, and he climbed up on her bed. He lay down beside her and wrapped his arm around her, he let her cry into his chest and all the time he whispered. "It's okay, it's okay, it's going to be okay."

She closed her eyes and let his words run over her, she wanted to believe him but she couldn't ignore the energy she felt behind her, Denny was still there, he was still watching her, controlling her.

-8-8-8-8-8-

"It's okay, it's going to be okay."

They were the only words Alex knew how to say, that he thought he could say. He didn't know what else he was supposed to do. He held Izzie against his chest and tried to convince himself as well as her that they were true.

He was still sitting like that, holding her when Derek and Meredith finally came back. They opened the door and turned on the light.

-8-8-8-8-8-

The sudden brightness made Izzie's head scream; she closed her eyes quickly and let out a small cry. She felt Alex move his hand over her eyes and she heard him ask someone to turn the light off. The light went off again and she slowly opened her eyes. Meredith and Derek were in the room and he was sticking films up in the light box.

'Iz, you need to wake up for a bit." Alex started telling her. "You need to listen to Shepard; he's going to tell you what's going to happen."

She adjusted her position on the bed and sat up a little. She stared at the films Derek was sticking into the light box and she gulped. Derek pointed to the aneurysm and began talking, he began explaining everything to her again. Waiting was not an option anymore, she needed treatment and she needed it as soon as possible. He began explaining to her the procedure he wanted to use to correct the problem, prevent the aneurysm bleeding again. He didn't want to clip it, he didn't want to perform craniotomy, he said with the size and position of the aneurysm it would be better to perform an endovascular coil embolization.

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The word endovascular made Alex smile, it was the first piece of almost good news he'd heard all day. He'd been psyching himself up for a craniotomy, for the idea that he would have to nurse Izzie though it, he'd been mentally trying to prepare himself for several months of recovery. If the embolization went well she would be looking at weeks of recovery instead of months.

He squeezed her hand and smiled at her, she smiled back at him. "See," he said, "it's going to be alright. You'll be back to normal in a few weeks."

-8-8-8-8-8-

She liked Alex's smile, it was a real smile, his eyes seemed to light up a little. She smiled back at him but she wasn't as happy as he was. Things were moving really fast, faster than she could comprehend and it scared her more.

"When will this happen?" she asked, she wanted him to say tomorrow, she wanted more time but he didn't. He glanced down at his watch.

"The OR will be ready in twenty minutes."


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Thanks for all the reviews. I really appreciate them. This story is in its home straight, keep an eye out for updates. The last parts will be up before the show airs tomorrow.**

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Derek handed Izzie the consent forms and she slowly began to sign them. She didn't really have a choice Alex was watching her every move, encouraging her to sign them. She needed the surgery to get better but she still wished it wasn't so fast.

"I'll see you in the OR," Shepard nodded at her and he walked out the room.

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Meredith watched Izzie sign the forms, she could see the hesitation in her hand, the look of reluctance. She was doing it because she had to do it, not because she wanted to.

"Iz, Derek knows what he's doing." She tried to reassure her. "You'll be in good hands."

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"I know," Izzie looked up at Meredith. She knew Shepard was good at what he did, if she had to have brain surgery she'd want him to be doing. That wasn't why she was hesitating though, that wasn't why she was so scared. Standing at the foot of her bed was Denny and he looked down right pissed off, he looked mad and it scared her.

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Alex watched Izzie sign the forms he could see her hesitation but all he had to do was give her a little squeeze and she kept writing. She signed every form and when she was done she looked up at him and smiled. He smiled back at her and handed the forms to Meredith.

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"I'll come see you before you go under." Meredith smiled before walking out the room too.

She was alone with Alex now; he was still sitting beside her, holding her. She liked the way his arms felt around her body, she liked resting her head against his chest and listening to his heart beat. She loved everything about being with Alex but she wasn't alone with him, not yet. Denny was still there, like a black cloud that would not go away he was still there.

He'd watched her sign the consent forms and now looked rather pissed off.

"Izzie what are you doing?" He'd asked her as she was signing. His words had been enough to make her pause but the squeeze from Alex was all she needed to keep going. "Izzie, what are you doing?" He asked her again and then he just stood there glaring at her.

She turned away from him and buried her face in Alex's chest, she wanted him to go away but she couldn't make him go away.

"Iz," She heard Alex start talking to her. He ran his hand through her hair and down her back. "You're going to be alright, this will all be over soon."

"I know." She knew it would be over soon, she wanted it to be over but there was something she needed to do first. She didn't want to do it, the thought of doing it scared her for more than one reason but she had to do it, if she didn't do it, she would never stop thinking about it. She didn't get the chance to say goodbye to Denny the first time, this time she had to do it. "Alex," She closed her eyes as she began talking, she didn't want to see the look on his face, she knew this would be as hard for him to hear as it was for her to say. "Can you leave me alone for a little bit I…" She couldn't say the rest of the words, they caught in her mouth and she looked up at Alex. She hoped that somehow he would work out what she wanted to say.

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"Iz," Alex wrapped his arms tightly around her. He knew what she was trying to say, what she wanted to do, but he didn't want her to do it, not by herself, he didn't want to leave her. "You can do it with me here. I won't say anything."

She looked up at him and then away, she seemed to be mulling over the option, the idea of doing it in front of him.

"Please," She turned back to look at him. "I have to do this on my own. I can't do it with you here." She blinked her eyes and tears started running down her cheeks. It broke his heart to see her cry. He didn't want to leave her but he knew he had to let her do this.

"Okay, I'll umm… go get some coffee. You have a few minutes."

He climbed off the bed and walked out the room. In the corridor he began to walk away and he told himself not to lose it. If he wanted Izzie to be his he had to let her play out this thing in her head. He didn't want let her do it but he was smart enough to realise, if he didn't let her she might never forgive him.

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Izzie watched Alex walk out the room. She waited until he had closed the door behind him and then she turned her attention Denny. He hadn't moved from his position at the end of the bed, he'd been standing there the whole time trying to stare her down. Now he had her full attention.

"What was that Izzie, what do you think you're doing?" He asked her.

She took in a deep breath and started talking, she needed to be strong, she couldn't let him take over her. "You're not real. I'm sick. I'm saying good bye to you." She said the words slowly and clearly, she wanted to make sure he heard her.

"You're not sick, Izzie. That's just what they want you to believe. They want me to go away."

"I am sick." She wouldn't let him change her mind, make her believe anything else. "I've seen the films, you're just a hallucination, you're just in my head."

He started laughing at her and walked towards her. "If I'm just in your head you wouldn't be able to feel me." He stepped right up to her and ran his fingers down the side of her face, he touched her the same way Alex did and she felt a tingle run through her body. "See, you felt that, I know you did."

"No," She shook her head. "Please don't touch me." After the last seizure she'd finally realized what they were and she didn't want it to happen again. She thought if somehow she could make Denny stop she could control it. She didn't want to have another seizure; with every one she was feeling more tired and more sick.

"Oh, come on, I know you want it." He stepped closer to her and rested his hand against her face.

She felt the sensation begin to run through her body. "Please don't." She tried to push him away. "I'm saying good bye to you. You need to go."

"Come on Izzie, don't do this." He moved closer to her.

"Don't." She tried to push him away one more time but she couldn't. He covered her mouth in a kiss and while the feeling it gave her wasn't unpleasant, this time it terrified her.

-8-8-8-8-8-

Alex walked to the coffee machine at the end of the corridor and punched it. The machine was the only thing he could take his anger and rage out on. He was so frustrated, he wanted to punch out someone, or specifically the man in Izzie's head but he couldn't do that. He couldn't take his anger out on this man because this man wasn't real.

"What did that machine do to you?"

He turned around and saw George standing behind him.

"Nothing," he shrugged and he pushed the buttons to order the coffee. "It was just there, I wanted to hit something."

"Oh," George looked at him like he understood, but didn't quite understand. "Why aren't you with Izzie?"

He took the coffee from the machine and took a sip of it. He sat down in one of the chairs and looked at the man staring at him. He had an unusual friendship with George more born by the women they both knew than by actually liking each other. He didn't know if he wanted to tell him, but then he realized he needed to talk to someone.

"She's saying good buy to Denny." He spat the words out, the distaste he felt by the situation obvious in his tone. George sat down in the chair beside him, he didn't look surprise.

"She told you about him?"

"What?" He didn't expect George to know, he'd only just found out himself, he didn't expect George to know. "Izzie told you she was talking to Denny?"

"When she first came in tonight I asked her."

"What?" Alex wasn't sure how to take that information, Izzie told George and not him, George knew and he didn't tell anyone. "Why didn't you tell someone?"

"I told her to tell you. I didn't think it was my place to be telling everyone."

"Right." Alex took a sip of his coffee and told himself to stay calm. Getting mad at George wouldn't help anything and he was right. Izzie needed to be the one to tell him about Denny, if he'd heard it from someone else he wouldn't have believed them.

He sat there in silence for a while sipping his coffee, he was waiting for George to move on but the guy wanted to sit there too. After a while the silence got too much and he started talking again.

"They're taking her up to the OR in ten minutes. Shepard's going to do a coil embolization." He started saying.

"That's good, it's better than a craniotomy."

"Yeah," He didn't know what to say. He glanced down at his watch and realized he'd given Izzie more than enough time to say good bye to the hallucination. "I'm going to head back now, do you want to come?"

He stood up and started walking without waiting for George's answer, he didn't care if the guy followed, he'd just invited him because he felt he should. He heard some feet shuffle and soon George was walking along beside him. They walked down the corridor towards Izzie's room and when they were halfway there they saw Meredith running down the corridor from the other direction. Seeing her running was all they needed to start running too.

They arrived at Izzie's room just as Meredith injected another does of something into Izzie's IV line. They both stood there watching as she took control of the situation, as soon as the seizure stopped she was ordering people to unhook everything from the walls, she wanted her up in the OR now.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Thanks for all the reviews. I really appreciate them. This is the final chapter of the story. I hope you have enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
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Meredith gave order after order to the nursing staff standing in front of her. The adrenaline was starting to pump through her body and she needed everyone to move faster than they were. She didn't notice Alex and George standing there until she turned to push Izzie out the room.

"What are you guys doing come on." She yelled at both of them and she didn't wait for an answer she just kept moving.

-8-8-8-8-8-

Alex watched Izzie's bed move past, her skin seemed to have gone a ghostly white and she wasn't moving. It took a second for his legs to register with his brain and then he took off after her. He slipped inside the elevator with them and tried to calm himself.

"Iz," He ran his hand down the side of her face and clasped her hand with the other.

-8-8-8-8-8-

Izzie felt Alex's hand run down her face. She felt his other hand grab her hold of hers and she squeezed it back.

"Alex," She forced her eyes open a little and gazed at him. He smiled at her and ran his hands though her hair.

"I'm right here Iz, I'm right here." He bent down so they were closer, so there eyes were level. She could see him clearly now and he looked so scared, so worried. It made her heart ache; she didn't want it to be like this.

"Alex," She tried to push herself up a bit but it hurt too much. "I'm sorry. I tried to fight him but I couldn't make him stop,"

-8-8-8-8-8-

"It's okay, it's okay." Alex had no idea what she was talking about, he didn't understand what she was saying but it didn't really matter. "We're going to the OR now." He told her instead. "We're going to stop that aneurysm bleeding and we're going to fix you. He won't be there anymore; it'll just you and me."

She seemed to smile at him when he said that. "Alex," She tried to pull him closer to her. "I…I love you."

-8-8-8-8-8-

She hadn't planed to say those words to him, but her fear had over ridded any conscious thought. She needed him to be with her, to stay with her more than anything. She was so scared, so afraid she might never get the chance to say it. He deserved to hear it, to know how she felt, she did love him. After everything they'd put each other through, she wanted to be with him and he was still standing there beside her.

-8-8-8-8-8-

Alex stared back at Izzie, he was not expecting her to say that, and right then that wasn't what he wanted to hear. There was a sincerity in her voice, but it was coupled with fear, there was fear in her eyes.

He bent down and kissed her, they were at the OR floor now standing at the doors waiting to go in. "Say it again when this is over." He told her and he stepped back. He watched Meredith push her the last few meters into the OR and the doors close behind them. He began to exhale slowly and told himself everything was going to be okay.

-8-8-8-8-8-

Izzie watched as Alex' s figure disappear behind the doors. It took every ounce of her strength not to start crying. She was in an OR, a room which always brought her comfort but she'd never seen it from this angle before. She'd never been the one going under the knife, never been the one put to sleep.

Meredith walked over to her and smiled. "Iz, I need you to count back from ten for me." She told her, she understood what that meant, they'd already given her the drugs to the make her sleep.

"I'm scared." She said instead.

"I know." She felt Meredith reach down and squeeze her hand. "Just count, it'll all be over soon."

Her eyes started to feel heavy, her head more cloudy than before. "10, 9, 8…"

-8-8-8-8-8-

Meredith watched Izzie's eyes close and she stepped back. "You need to go now Dr. Grey." Derek told her. She nodded, she knew she wasn't allowed to stay in the OR for this, Izzie was her friend, she was too close to stay. She gave one last look at her and began walking out.

She walked out the OR and found Alex standing right where she'd left him. There was a look of shock and disbelief across his face, coupled with exhaustion.

"Alex, she's going to be in there for three maybe four hours you should go get some rest." She told him, he didn't say anything though, he just stood there.

"Alex," she tried to get his attention again, she rested her hand on his arm. "Are you okay?" He looked up at her; there was a somewhat dazed expression on his face.

"Yeah," He pushed her hand away and began walking down the corridor.

-8-8-8-8-8-

Alex walked away from Meredith; he wasn't in the mood for talking. The last twelve hours had drained him mentally, and physically he was exhausted the last time he'd slept was some thirty six hours ago. He needed sleep but he couldn't sleep just yet, he couldn't sleep until he knew Izzie was alright.

Instead of laying down he walked to the locker rooms and changed into a pair of scrub pants and put on some runners. He made sure his pager was well attached and then he walked out the room, he walked towards the entrance of the hospital and he walked out the doors. He walked until he was a few meters away from the hospital and then he started running.

He ran so he could forget, so his body could feel something other than what he was feeling. He wanted to feel his heart rate increase, he wanted to feel the sweat running down his face, and his lungs scream for air. He wanted to feel something other than the fear running though him, he wanted to forget the fear. Fear wasn't helping anything, everything was out of his control, he couldn't fix Izzie, that wasn't his job. He ran until he was exhausted, until he couldn't run any more, he sat down on a bench behind the hospital and rested his head in his hands. He closed his eyes and for the hundredth time that day he told himself everything would be okay. He told himself that when this was all over Izzie would still be his, she would still want him.

He sat on the bench for an hour waiting for his pager to go off, waiting for the signal that the procedure was over, that he could see Izzie again. When it finally went off he was ready, he'd worked himself into the right state of mind.

He walked back inside the hospital, and caught the elevator to the ICU floor. Meredith and Shepard were waiting outside for him.

"How did it go? How is she?" he asked as soon as he reached them. They both smiled at him.

"It was textbook." Shepard began saying. "We'll keep her in the ICU for a few days for observation but she should be fine."

Hearing those words, 'she should be fine', in that instance were the most beautiful words he could have heard. He smiled and he began to let the relief run through him.

"Good, good." He started saying to him self. "Can I go see her?"

"Sure, her room is at the end of the corridor."

-8-8-8-8-8-

Izzie lay half awake in her bed, she could hear movement around her but she couldn't work out what it was. She couldn't keep her eyes open for more than a second and her leg was throbbing and her head pounding. She let out a moan and tried to sit up a little but she couldn't lift her head. She couldn't do anything but lay there and wait. Somewhere the door opened, she heard footsteps walk towards her and the sound of someone dragging a chair over to the bed.

"Alex," She moaned his name, she didn't know who was in her room but she hoped it was him.

-8-8-8-8-8-

He hadn't even sat down when he heard her whisper his name, he wasn't expecting it, not this soon, he'd been told she'd be sleeping for another hour or so.

"Iz," He let go of the chair and stepped up beside the bed. He reached for her hand and wrapped his around it. "I'm here, I'm right here."

"Alex," She whispered his name again and opened her eyes. She looked straight at him and smiled.

"Hey Iz," He smiled back at her and he touched his hand to her cheek.

-8-8-8-8-8-

Alex's hand on her cheek was warm, it sent a warm feeling through her body completely unlike the feeling she got when Denny had touched her. She reached up with her hand, touched his face, there was rough stubble across it, the feeling made her smile and she tried to pull him closer.

-8-8-8-8-8-

Izzie's hand on his face was a soft gentle touch, her fingers brushed against him and she gazed into his eyes. She looked like she was really looking at him, trying to work him out.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her, it was the logical first question to ask but it wasn't the question he really wanted to know the answer to. He already had a good how she'd be feeling.

"Tired, my leg hurts." She told him, he was expecting that answer. He picked up the PCA controller and pressed the button on it.

"This will help." He told her and he slipped it into her hand.

"Thanks." She smiled at him and her eyes drifted shut. She was tried, he could see she was tried but there was one thing he had to ask her before he let her go back to sleep.

"Iz," he bent down closer to her and hooked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Is he here?"

-8-8-8-8-8-

She knew which he, he was talking about, she hadn't noticed him, heard him. She tried to push herself up in the bed a little to have a look around, if he was there she needed to know but she couldn't lift her head.

"Don't move about." He told her. "Just tell me. Is he here?"

She couldn't see him, she couldn't feel him, he couldn't be there. "No," she said and she began to smile it was really over.

-8-8-8-8-8-

Alex watched the smile spread across Izzie's face. "That's good." He told her, "It's just us now."

He bent down and kissed her, he was finally starting to feel like it was over, that they'd past the worse of it. He cupped her cheek in his hand and smiled. "I'll let you get some rest now." He told her. "You look really tired."

-8-8-8-8-8-

She was tried but she didn't want Alex to leave, as he went to step back she grabbed hold of him. "Stay with me." She whispered. "I don't want to be alone."

He stopped moving away from her and paused for a moment. "I won't leave you." He said and he rubbed her cheek again, that wasn't what she meant though.

"Can you hold me?" She forced herself to move over in the bed a little and tapped the space beside her.

"Okay," He climbed up on the bed beside her and wrapped his arms around her. She liked the way it felt with him holding her. He made her feel safe and she started to drift back to sleep. She wouldn't fall asleep just yet though; there was one thing she needed say.

"Alex," she felt him run his fingers through her hair, his soft gentle touch. "I love you."'

-8-8-8-8-8-

He heard the words slide from Izzie's mouth; they didn't surprise him this time they made him smile. He pulled his arm tighter around her and held her as close to him as possible. "I love you too." He whispered and he finally let himself relax. Izzie fell asleep in his arms within minutes and it didn't take long for him to follow.


End file.
